Quantcast
Channel: Milton Almeida » humor
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 3

10 Ways to Ruin your church “Easter” Pageant

0
0
10 ways to ruin your church. Easter pageant: by Milton Almeida – this is not funny.1 -The guys portraying Jesus and the disciples are blond and blue-eyed whereas Judas is black and his t-shirt with the words “Obama/Biden 2012″ is visible through his robes.
2 – In the last communion table there is a bottle of Welch’s grape juice and the label is turned to the audience.
3 -On the way to the cross, …the actor portraying Jesus staggers as he drags his heavy cross through the church aisles, which leaves a trail of Styrofoam balls; the janitorial staff is seen by reading their lips, cussing the whole thing with some colorful words.
4 -When the Roman soldier is ready to drive nails through the wrists of the actor portraying Jesus, he removes his Rolex first
5 -In the scene of the crucifixion there is an actual earthquake… Perhaps the wrath of God
6 -When the “angels” are opening the tomb in the resurrection scene, the actor portraying Jesus inside the tomb isn’t quite ready yet and the removal of the stone exposes a naked man trying to fit in his resurrection robes
7 -When the disciples enter the tomb and find Jesus’ clothes folded in a corner, it is obvious to the audience that it is the same suit Santa used during the Christmas pageant last year…
8 -During the ascension scene, the smoke machine operator fumbles and there is more smoke than needed… The actor portraying Jesus chokes and instead of going up, he runs coughing his heart out; in fact everyone is coughing their heart out… congregation and all.
9 -When the smoke settles, a group of adults dressed as gigantic Easter bunnies, “lay” chocolate eggs in different places while a narrator describes the rewards for those who “believe”.
10 -In the end, the Minister takes over and thanks the producers and actors for maintaining biblical accuracy.

Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 3

Latest Images

Trending Articles





Latest Images